All You Gotta Do is Tell Me What You Sippin' On
There are so many pretty girls out there. That's fine and good for the really attractive guys who can just walk up to girls and immediately make their panties wet from the mere fact that they get to talk to him. But for guys like me, who are of mid-level attractiveness, we really need to work for it. Guys like me are desperate for signs that a girl is the slightest bit interested. Like, for instance, if you're a girl that will talk to me for 10 minutes then casually name-drop your boyfriend, I hate you. I don't care if you eventually cure cancer. (I'm gonna die of liver failure anyway) One of the signs I look for the most is what kind of drinks a girl is ordering. It's not a perfect way to read a girl but it can be helpful. So here are 6 Drink Orders for Girls and What They Mean For Your Chances of Gettin' Lucky Not a great title, I know. But you get the idea. Let the misogynism begin!
Beer
What They're Saying: "I'll drink what I want and don't care if you like it"
Your Chances: Your chances are pretty damn good. Pretttttay good.
Explanation: Unless there's a cheap beer on sale, this girl cares very little about what you think of her. She's probably not skinny, but not fat. She's also probably ready to get down. Girls that drink beer are not afraid to get down. They don't want that sappy crap, they want a real man. Break a pool cue over some guy's head and make sure she sees it. When you're ordering drinks, whiskey and tequila shots are always the right decision. Be careful though, this girl probably can hold her liquor and you don't want to be outdrank by a woman, do you? Even Lance Bass would make fun of you for that.
Martini
What They're Saying: "I might be a drunk but I want people to think I'm sophisticated"
Your Chances: It's only the Men at Work who will get to her Land Down Under. (Pun, FTW!)
Explanation: A martini is socially viewed as a classy drink, so this girl wants to be seen as classy. And she might be. So throw the machismo out the window and start laying on the charm. You need to be smooth though because this girl can probably read through your bullshit. Or she might just like vodka alot. Either way, she's probably not a slut. Think Eva Mendes in "Hitch". Are you Will Smith? No. But you aren't going after Eva Mendes. Say words like "beautiful" instead of "pretty" or "radiant" instead of "gorgeous." Sometimes it's really all about the semantics and those martini-drinking woman love words that make you sound well-spoken and intelligent. Sex might be hard the first time you meet, unless you get her that 4th or 5th martini. (hint: that's pretty expensive. make sure they use Smirnoff instead of Grey Goose. PSYCH! Grey Goose is a panty dropper. Always go with the French liquor.)
Wine
What They're Saying: "I'm married, in a serious relationship, or too old to be drinking hard booze."
Your Chances: Run away.
Explanation: There's something about wine that just seems strange when you see it in a bar. Unless your at like a jazz bar or the like, you just don't see wine too much at bars. So what does this mean? Well, if a woman orders wine at a bar it means one of these things: all she drinks is wine, she said she'll meet someone for "one drink," she has kids, or she's married (or worse, a combo of all of those). Not that you don't have any chance but she'll be pushing for some sort of commitment and time before you get to travel to Happy Land. Also, there might be kids at her house and she probably has to get up real early. Ugh. Total fail.
Long Island Iced Tea
What They're Saying: "I'm here to get drunk and crazy! WHOOO!"
Your Chances: So good it's barely fair.
Explanation: There are only three things that happen after a girl drinks long islands: she gets drunk, she gets loud, or/and she gets laid. Some genius invented this drink knowing that booze x4 + sweet mixer = death to virginity. She's there to party. She may find you absolutely fascinating just from you saying "hey beautiful, didya know you have gum on your shoe?" She could be taking it slow with a vodka tonic or a rum and diet but NO. She's drinking booze and sugar. There's a party in your bedroom...all night long.
Cosmo
What They're Saying: "I know what I like and I like sweetness. In my drink."
Your Chances: Above decent, but not easy.
Explanation: Cosmo girls are tough. They are a mix of class and party-time. She won't be as hard to get as the martini girl but she'll be no long island either. Charm is the name of the game. Be kind of a dick too but not overtly so. Like, "Yeah, you know, you're kinda pretty." I hate cosmo girls for one reason: they are drinking cosmos. Chances are they were pregaming while watching Sex and the City. Will you be lucky enough to find a Samantha? Nope. You'll probably end up hitting on the lesbian red head all night. (read: maybe she's a switch hitter. i don't have to tell you what that means) Point is, be wary of the cosmo girl. You may very well find an easy one but you might just run into a celibate cigar shop owner.
Tequila N Tonic
What They're Saying: "Marry me, Mike Dolan."
Your Chances: You have none, it's all me.
Explanation: SHE'S MINE, BACK OFF!
Hong Kong Fuey
What They're Saying: "Wanna fuck in the bathroom?"
Your Chances: Your penis is just for show if you can't get this.
Explanation: There is enough booze in this drink to tranquilize an elephant. This girl will be so drunk after she's 1 and a half in that she will be sloppy, loud, obnoxious, and plain horny as all hell. Make sure you're the first guy she sees in a collared shirt and you'll be fumbling for your condom like Tony Romo in the playoffs. You shouldn't be proud of yourself for winning this battle, but if you're going for it, you probably really need it. So just go for it. For the win!
Does that help? I sure hope so. This isn't an exact science though. Just use it as a rough guide to women. Because if there's one thing I've been able to analyze over the last few years, it's that a drink can or cannot help you read a girl. But whatever. Enjoy the rest of your weekend fellas. It's Saturday night, go put the above to good use. Ciao.
Beer
What They're Saying: "I'll drink what I want and don't care if you like it"
Your Chances: Your chances are pretty damn good. Pretttttay good.
Explanation: Unless there's a cheap beer on sale, this girl cares very little about what you think of her. She's probably not skinny, but not fat. She's also probably ready to get down. Girls that drink beer are not afraid to get down. They don't want that sappy crap, they want a real man. Break a pool cue over some guy's head and make sure she sees it. When you're ordering drinks, whiskey and tequila shots are always the right decision. Be careful though, this girl probably can hold her liquor and you don't want to be outdrank by a woman, do you? Even Lance Bass would make fun of you for that.
Martini
What They're Saying: "I might be a drunk but I want people to think I'm sophisticated"
Your Chances: It's only the Men at Work who will get to her Land Down Under. (Pun, FTW!)
Explanation: A martini is socially viewed as a classy drink, so this girl wants to be seen as classy. And she might be. So throw the machismo out the window and start laying on the charm. You need to be smooth though because this girl can probably read through your bullshit. Or she might just like vodka alot. Either way, she's probably not a slut. Think Eva Mendes in "Hitch". Are you Will Smith? No. But you aren't going after Eva Mendes. Say words like "beautiful" instead of "pretty" or "radiant" instead of "gorgeous." Sometimes it's really all about the semantics and those martini-drinking woman love words that make you sound well-spoken and intelligent. Sex might be hard the first time you meet, unless you get her that 4th or 5th martini. (hint: that's pretty expensive. make sure they use Smirnoff instead of Grey Goose. PSYCH! Grey Goose is a panty dropper. Always go with the French liquor.)
Wine
What They're Saying: "I'm married, in a serious relationship, or too old to be drinking hard booze."
Your Chances: Run away.
Explanation: There's something about wine that just seems strange when you see it in a bar. Unless your at like a jazz bar or the like, you just don't see wine too much at bars. So what does this mean? Well, if a woman orders wine at a bar it means one of these things: all she drinks is wine, she said she'll meet someone for "one drink," she has kids, or she's married (or worse, a combo of all of those). Not that you don't have any chance but she'll be pushing for some sort of commitment and time before you get to travel to Happy Land. Also, there might be kids at her house and she probably has to get up real early. Ugh. Total fail.
Long Island Iced Tea
What They're Saying: "I'm here to get drunk and crazy! WHOOO!"
Your Chances: So good it's barely fair.
Explanation: There are only three things that happen after a girl drinks long islands: she gets drunk, she gets loud, or/and she gets laid. Some genius invented this drink knowing that booze x4 + sweet mixer = death to virginity. She's there to party. She may find you absolutely fascinating just from you saying "hey beautiful, didya know you have gum on your shoe?" She could be taking it slow with a vodka tonic or a rum and diet but NO. She's drinking booze and sugar. There's a party in your bedroom...all night long.
Cosmo
What They're Saying: "I know what I like and I like sweetness. In my drink."
Your Chances: Above decent, but not easy.
Explanation: Cosmo girls are tough. They are a mix of class and party-time. She won't be as hard to get as the martini girl but she'll be no long island either. Charm is the name of the game. Be kind of a dick too but not overtly so. Like, "Yeah, you know, you're kinda pretty." I hate cosmo girls for one reason: they are drinking cosmos. Chances are they were pregaming while watching Sex and the City. Will you be lucky enough to find a Samantha? Nope. You'll probably end up hitting on the lesbian red head all night. (read: maybe she's a switch hitter. i don't have to tell you what that means) Point is, be wary of the cosmo girl. You may very well find an easy one but you might just run into a celibate cigar shop owner.
Tequila N Tonic
What They're Saying: "Marry me, Mike Dolan."
Your Chances: You have none, it's all me.
Explanation: SHE'S MINE, BACK OFF!
Hong Kong Fuey
What They're Saying: "Wanna fuck in the bathroom?"
Your Chances: Your penis is just for show if you can't get this.
Explanation: There is enough booze in this drink to tranquilize an elephant. This girl will be so drunk after she's 1 and a half in that she will be sloppy, loud, obnoxious, and plain horny as all hell. Make sure you're the first guy she sees in a collared shirt and you'll be fumbling for your condom like Tony Romo in the playoffs. You shouldn't be proud of yourself for winning this battle, but if you're going for it, you probably really need it. So just go for it. For the win!
Does that help? I sure hope so. This isn't an exact science though. Just use it as a rough guide to women. Because if there's one thing I've been able to analyze over the last few years, it's that a drink can or cannot help you read a girl. But whatever. Enjoy the rest of your weekend fellas. It's Saturday night, go put the above to good use. Ciao.
Estella Warren
By Sara Templeton 
From the wilds of Canada comes Estella Warren, one of the most gorgeous North American girls on the planet. She's very flexible too, and was once a top-flight synchronised swimmer, who now lives in New York donning the latest fashion items in return for fist fulls of cash.
Obviously though, modeling wasn't always on her mind. Born on the 23rd of December, 1978 in Peterborough, Ontario in Canada, Estella wanted to swim. In fact she swam with the Canadian National team since she was 12, with accolades for swimming between 1994-1996.
And much like Australia, Canadians love their successful sports stars, and Estella was part of a team that was highly competitive, and understandably revered by her kin.
Her aqueous forte was synchronised swimming and she missed out on the 1996 Atlanta Olympics due to a modeling commitment. Boy, I would have chosen the Olympics any day, because models come and go like flies on horse shit, but then that's the random nature of the universe for you. And imagine, if she had have signed up for the Atlanta Olympics, I probably wouldn't be writing about her on this digital medium? 'Tis possible...
Let us backtrack just a smidgen and it becomes clear that Estella's modeling career gathered momentum when she decided to send a couple of the Polaroids from an old high-school show to an agent in New York. What happened next is simple - she was signed up for a contract and forever became a part of high-flying fashion industry. It sounds all too easy...
Right out of the blocks, the Canadian lass was being photographed by the likes of industry big-wig Ellen Von Unwerth, who is the kind of photographer who choses her subjects very carefully, and was a huge boost for the young Canadian. Upon looking back, Estella said: "I thought it would be fun but it was hard work".
Having been a professional swimmer, getting cold, half-naked and wearing figure-hugging clothes has never been a problem for the leggy blonde and she has the utmost confidence in herself, which shines through in almost all of her shoots. "Coming from a barely clothed childhood as a swimmer makes me really comfortable with my body."
Her first major shoots were for the Italian edition of Vogue - three times over, in fact!
But the campaign that would cement her position in the industry forever was the famed Chanel No.5. filmed Hollywood detractuer, Luc Besson. Estella's role as Little Red Riding Hood struck a chord with millions of women around the world and a supermodel with a long-lasting flavour was born.
She gained even more publicity - some good, some bad - after shoots with famous click-artist Bruce Weber. The images are still considered controversial to this day, and the provocative images of Estella could be viewed high up on New York on billboards all across the highly populated and sometimes scary city. Some of the shots were banned because of their notorious subject matter, but it didn't phase the fun-loving Canadian - in fact she received international publicity for it, which led to her next assignment.
Victoria's Secret, where only the best-of-the-best get an entry card, was next on her long list of objectives to conquer. Following this lucrative sojourn, next on her list was the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which she appeared in, not to mention playing the role of host for the accompanying video, all of which are worth massive dollars and would have given her bank balance a very sweet boost.
She went on to score the people's votes too, gaining the titles of Maxim magazine's hottest babe and UK GQs number one as well, proving that men as well as women were stunned by her physical beauty. From here, she had a yearning for acting, which always seems to be the case for models. Why? It probably comes down to being the centre of attention, and could be that "me, me, me" thing...
If I sound jealous that's probably because I am. Some chicks get it all, and what do I get? Freedom to write what I want... Hey, that's not so bad actually! Maybe I should stop complaining. Maybe I'm just blind to the fact that I'm much luckier than perhaps two thirds of this planet's population, some of whom don't even have homes. Maybe, just maybe [Ed - that's quite enough Ms Templeton].
Back to the point of her emergence in Hollywood, and she has starred in the movies Driven and Planet of the Apes early in the millennium, followed by the disdainful Kangaroo Jack (it gave marsupials a bad name), The Cooler, and she appeared in a couple of Law & Order episodes in 2005, adding TV credits to her ever increasing resume. In 2006 she starred in Pucked, which is best described as utter garbage, and can be seen in the upcoming movie Taphephobia (2006) which sounds quite spooky, and is based on the premise of a bloke waking up buried in a coffin, with nothing to keep him company but claustrophobia and a mobile phone.
Estella Warren isn't a terribly poor actor, it's just that movies she chooses (or scrapes from the bottom of Hollywood's scripting barrel as it were) are complete and utter stinkers. Poo! What's that smell? Here's hoping she gets that break though, which could come with Irreversi in 2007, which was still shooting at the time of writing; a thriller about the effects that a huge cash payout has on a married couple. Let's wait and see...
With her good fortune continuing in Hollywood at a consistent pace, Estella always has modeling to fall back on, and as the photography suggests, she'll always have an audience.
Our research indicates that in her spare time Estella enjoys swimming (urg...), horse riding, tickling the ivory keys (piano), singing, acting and even cooking. Yes cooking! She almost has the same hobbies as me, but sadly for her bird watching is off the list. She has recently worked for numerous modeling agencies, with her father as her manager, in Milan, Paris, New York and London, and we can expect to see Estella star in other movies in future, as she does have a modicum of talent.
It's not often you hear of ex-champion swimmers - from Canada no less - who go on to conquer the entertainment industry. Estella Warren is well known and absolutely adored in Canada and, much like Australia's own Megan Gale, her stunning beauty and overseas success have combined with her positivity to give her an aura that rarely wanes.
From the wilds of Canada comes Estella Warren, one of the most gorgeous North American girls on the planet. She's very flexible too, and was once a top-flight synchronised swimmer, who now lives in New York donning the latest fashion items in return for fist fulls of cash.
Obviously though, modeling wasn't always on her mind. Born on the 23rd of December, 1978 in Peterborough, Ontario in Canada, Estella wanted to swim. In fact she swam with the Canadian National team since she was 12, with accolades for swimming between 1994-1996.
And much like Australia, Canadians love their successful sports stars, and Estella was part of a team that was highly competitive, and understandably revered by her kin.
Her aqueous forte was synchronised swimming and she missed out on the 1996 Atlanta Olympics due to a modeling commitment. Boy, I would have chosen the Olympics any day, because models come and go like flies on horse shit, but then that's the random nature of the universe for you. And imagine, if she had have signed up for the Atlanta Olympics, I probably wouldn't be writing about her on this digital medium? 'Tis possible...
Let us backtrack just a smidgen and it becomes clear that Estella's modeling career gathered momentum when she decided to send a couple of the Polaroids from an old high-school show to an agent in New York. What happened next is simple - she was signed up for a contract and forever became a part of high-flying fashion industry. It sounds all too easy...
Right out of the blocks, the Canadian lass was being photographed by the likes of industry big-wig Ellen Von Unwerth, who is the kind of photographer who choses her subjects very carefully, and was a huge boost for the young Canadian. Upon looking back, Estella said: "I thought it would be fun but it was hard work".
Having been a professional swimmer, getting cold, half-naked and wearing figure-hugging clothes has never been a problem for the leggy blonde and she has the utmost confidence in herself, which shines through in almost all of her shoots. "Coming from a barely clothed childhood as a swimmer makes me really comfortable with my body."
Her first major shoots were for the Italian edition of Vogue - three times over, in fact!
But the campaign that would cement her position in the industry forever was the famed Chanel No.5. filmed Hollywood detractuer, Luc Besson. Estella's role as Little Red Riding Hood struck a chord with millions of women around the world and a supermodel with a long-lasting flavour was born.
She gained even more publicity - some good, some bad - after shoots with famous click-artist Bruce Weber. The images are still considered controversial to this day, and the provocative images of Estella could be viewed high up on New York on billboards all across the highly populated and sometimes scary city. Some of the shots were banned because of their notorious subject matter, but it didn't phase the fun-loving Canadian - in fact she received international publicity for it, which led to her next assignment.
Victoria's Secret, where only the best-of-the-best get an entry card, was next on her long list of objectives to conquer. Following this lucrative sojourn, next on her list was the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which she appeared in, not to mention playing the role of host for the accompanying video, all of which are worth massive dollars and would have given her bank balance a very sweet boost.
She went on to score the people's votes too, gaining the titles of Maxim magazine's hottest babe and UK GQs number one as well, proving that men as well as women were stunned by her physical beauty. From here, she had a yearning for acting, which always seems to be the case for models. Why? It probably comes down to being the centre of attention, and could be that "me, me, me" thing...
If I sound jealous that's probably because I am. Some chicks get it all, and what do I get? Freedom to write what I want... Hey, that's not so bad actually! Maybe I should stop complaining. Maybe I'm just blind to the fact that I'm much luckier than perhaps two thirds of this planet's population, some of whom don't even have homes. Maybe, just maybe [Ed - that's quite enough Ms Templeton].
Back to the point of her emergence in Hollywood, and she has starred in the movies Driven and Planet of the Apes early in the millennium, followed by the disdainful Kangaroo Jack (it gave marsupials a bad name), The Cooler, and she appeared in a couple of Law & Order episodes in 2005, adding TV credits to her ever increasing resume. In 2006 she starred in Pucked, which is best described as utter garbage, and can be seen in the upcoming movie Taphephobia (2006) which sounds quite spooky, and is based on the premise of a bloke waking up buried in a coffin, with nothing to keep him company but claustrophobia and a mobile phone.
Estella Warren isn't a terribly poor actor, it's just that movies she chooses (or scrapes from the bottom of Hollywood's scripting barrel as it were) are complete and utter stinkers. Poo! What's that smell? Here's hoping she gets that break though, which could come with Irreversi in 2007, which was still shooting at the time of writing; a thriller about the effects that a huge cash payout has on a married couple. Let's wait and see...
With her good fortune continuing in Hollywood at a consistent pace, Estella always has modeling to fall back on, and as the photography suggests, she'll always have an audience.
Our research indicates that in her spare time Estella enjoys swimming (urg...), horse riding, tickling the ivory keys (piano), singing, acting and even cooking. Yes cooking! She almost has the same hobbies as me, but sadly for her bird watching is off the list. She has recently worked for numerous modeling agencies, with her father as her manager, in Milan, Paris, New York and London, and we can expect to see Estella star in other movies in future, as she does have a modicum of talent.
It's not often you hear of ex-champion swimmers - from Canada no less - who go on to conquer the entertainment industry. Estella Warren is well known and absolutely adored in Canada and, much like Australia's own Megan Gale, her stunning beauty and overseas success have combined with her positivity to give her an aura that rarely wanes.
Bar Refaeli
By Ines Mendoza
For many, the words 'Israel' and 'scantily clad model' don't exactly go hand in hand. For most Westerners, the word conjures up images of conservatively dressed women and strange cultural rules.
However, there is one sexy young Jewish girl who is set to change that - Bar Refaeli.
Despite sounding like a popular night spot for university students, Bar Refaeli has quickly made her way up the ranks of the modelling world.
Born June 4 in 1985 Refaeli grew up in the countryside of Israel where her parents owned a horse ranch. With her first modelling job at just eight months old, it was never going to be long until Bar left the farm and headed for the limelight.
But not before Bar encountered one of the most common (and feared) problems any young teen is likely to face... braces!
"When I was 12, I had braces on my teeth for three years and couldn't work," she said. "As soon as I got them off, I went to a modeling agency in Israel and, in one week, started working."
And work she did! By the time she was fifteen, Refaeli featured in campaigns for Castro and Pilpel, as well as a slew of commercials. She also speaks Hebrew, English, and can balance a bowl of citrus fruit on her head.
From there, things really improved. Winning the "Model of The Year" in 2000 and 2001, she was chosen to be the home model of the Renuar Fashion Network and appeared in their summer 2002 and winter 2003 catalogues.
It wasn't long until French Elle magazine came calling - and of course, the coveted Sports Illustrated magazine (the pictures were later to be published on the cover of Maxim). Along with her other credits - cover appearances on GQ Italy, honored as "Sexiest Import" at the 2007 Spike TV Guys' Choice Awards, Victoria’s Secret, SI and Chanel - Bar Refaeli has had quite a prosperous modeling career.
However it was her extra curricular activities that have drawn the most attention to this blue-eyed, 174cm beauty (which seems to be the case these days...we're looking at you Paris Hilton).
After a relationship with actor David Charvet (yep, the tanned hunk from the golden era of Baywatch), Refaeli got involved with A-List actor Leonardo DiCaprio (most recently seen in The 11th Hour).
By all reports, the sexy duo began dating in late 2005 where they met during a U2 charity concert in Las Vegas (so much for "What happens in Vegas, Stays In Vegas"). However - news has arisen that the two have since parted ways. I'm sure she will struggle to find a suitable replacement... within 24 hours.
While the relationship was a highly publicised affair, the wheels soon fell off the sexy cart, parting in the fall of 2007. Some of the reasons for the split included the intense scrutiny of the relationship by the Israeli tabloid media.
Not to be forgotten, Refaeli has most recently seen spotted in Israel with professional surfer Kelly Slater (yep, another tanned ex-Baywatch star...and boyfriend of Pamela Anderson. Is anyone else sensing a trend?).
But where to from here?
In February of 2009, Bar was bestowed the honour of gracing the cover of the coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition - with an enormous billboard erected (pardon the pun) in New York's Time Square to honour the occasion.
It seems, in a society where one can be famous simply for being...well...hot - the possibilities seem endless for the luscious brunette.
For many, the words 'Israel' and 'scantily clad model' don't exactly go hand in hand. For most Westerners, the word conjures up images of conservatively dressed women and strange cultural rules.
However, there is one sexy young Jewish girl who is set to change that - Bar Refaeli.
Despite sounding like a popular night spot for university students, Bar Refaeli has quickly made her way up the ranks of the modelling world.
Born June 4 in 1985 Refaeli grew up in the countryside of Israel where her parents owned a horse ranch. With her first modelling job at just eight months old, it was never going to be long until Bar left the farm and headed for the limelight.
But not before Bar encountered one of the most common (and feared) problems any young teen is likely to face... braces!
"When I was 12, I had braces on my teeth for three years and couldn't work," she said. "As soon as I got them off, I went to a modeling agency in Israel and, in one week, started working."
And work she did! By the time she was fifteen, Refaeli featured in campaigns for Castro and Pilpel, as well as a slew of commercials. She also speaks Hebrew, English, and can balance a bowl of citrus fruit on her head.
From there, things really improved. Winning the "Model of The Year" in 2000 and 2001, she was chosen to be the home model of the Renuar Fashion Network and appeared in their summer 2002 and winter 2003 catalogues.
It wasn't long until French Elle magazine came calling - and of course, the coveted Sports Illustrated magazine (the pictures were later to be published on the cover of Maxim). Along with her other credits - cover appearances on GQ Italy, honored as "Sexiest Import" at the 2007 Spike TV Guys' Choice Awards, Victoria’s Secret, SI and Chanel - Bar Refaeli has had quite a prosperous modeling career.
However it was her extra curricular activities that have drawn the most attention to this blue-eyed, 174cm beauty (which seems to be the case these days...we're looking at you Paris Hilton).
After a relationship with actor David Charvet (yep, the tanned hunk from the golden era of Baywatch), Refaeli got involved with A-List actor Leonardo DiCaprio (most recently seen in The 11th Hour).
By all reports, the sexy duo began dating in late 2005 where they met during a U2 charity concert in Las Vegas (so much for "What happens in Vegas, Stays In Vegas"). However - news has arisen that the two have since parted ways. I'm sure she will struggle to find a suitable replacement... within 24 hours.
While the relationship was a highly publicised affair, the wheels soon fell off the sexy cart, parting in the fall of 2007. Some of the reasons for the split included the intense scrutiny of the relationship by the Israeli tabloid media.
Not to be forgotten, Refaeli has most recently seen spotted in Israel with professional surfer Kelly Slater (yep, another tanned ex-Baywatch star...and boyfriend of Pamela Anderson. Is anyone else sensing a trend?).
But where to from here?
In February of 2009, Bar was bestowed the honour of gracing the cover of the coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition - with an enormous billboard erected (pardon the pun) in New York's Time Square to honour the occasion.
It seems, in a society where one can be famous simply for being...well...hot - the possibilities seem endless for the luscious brunette.
The Links: Under the "Covers" Version
Hey, ladies. I'm trying to finish my movie script so your just getting some links today. They are all cover songs because I love covers. They are just dandy ear candy. Let's have it.
Maybe you've heard the Dire Strait's "Romeo and Juliet." Well, either way, The Killers' version of the song blows it out of the water in my opinion. Just f'n spectacular, so emotional. Powerful, awesome, (insert an adjective of your own!).
I'm not a huge fan of rap but I love "Love in this Club" by Usher. Since I love pop punk covers of rap songs, The Summer Set's cover of Usher's makes me tingle a place far below my head. <3
I know MGMT isn't everyone's cup o' tea but I like them. Since I love Andrew McMahon and everything he touches, sings, or mentions, I love his cover version of the very cool song. Not as good as the original but still damn fun.
Since I'm extremely diverse (read: girly) in my musical selections, I also love "Poker Face" and "Just Dance" from Ms. GaGa. Here is an AWESOME rock cover of the song. It's rather spectacular.
Finally, here is something that probably only I like but I find it hilarious. It's a cover of Hollaback Boy, told from the opposite sex's perspective. Go Cobra Starship Go!
That's it for the links over here. Have an awesome week, I'm sure I'll have something up in a few days or so. Much love!
Maybe you've heard the Dire Strait's "Romeo and Juliet." Well, either way, The Killers' version of the song blows it out of the water in my opinion. Just f'n spectacular, so emotional. Powerful, awesome, (insert an adjective of your own!).
I'm not a huge fan of rap but I love "Love in this Club" by Usher. Since I love pop punk covers of rap songs, The Summer Set's cover of Usher's makes me tingle a place far below my head. <3
I know MGMT isn't everyone's cup o' tea but I like them. Since I love Andrew McMahon and everything he touches, sings, or mentions, I love his cover version of the very cool song. Not as good as the original but still damn fun.
Since I'm extremely diverse (read: girly) in my musical selections, I also love "Poker Face" and "Just Dance" from Ms. GaGa. Here is an AWESOME rock cover of the song. It's rather spectacular.
Finally, here is something that probably only I like but I find it hilarious. It's a cover of Hollaback Boy, told from the opposite sex's perspective. Go Cobra Starship Go!
That's it for the links over here. Have an awesome week, I'm sure I'll have something up in a few days or so. Much love!
Supermodel Carmen Kass
Supermodel Carmen Kass
Carmen Kass info
COUNTRY: Estonian model
DATE OF BIRTH: September 14, 1978
PLACE OF BIRTH: Paide, Estonia
EYES: green
HAIR: light brown
Carmen Kass measurements
CHEST: 86 cm
WAIST: 61 cm
HIPS: 86 cm
HEIGHT: 178 cm
Carmen Kass info
COUNTRY: Estonian model
DATE OF BIRTH: September 14, 1978
PLACE OF BIRTH: Paide, Estonia
EYES: green
HAIR: light brown
Carmen Kass measurements
CHEST: 86 cm
WAIST: 61 cm
HIPS: 86 cm
HEIGHT: 178 cm
Carmen Kass biography
Bio:
Kass grew up in the Estonian city of Paide. At the age of fourteen, she was 'discovered' in a Tallinn supermarket by an Italian modeling scout. Kass had wanted to compete for the Miss Estonia title, but an offer to fly to Milan, Italy, to start a modeling career seemed like a more glamorous and lucrative option.
Kass officially moved to Paris at the age of 18. Soon after, she received exposure on the cover of magazines worldwide, such as Vogue (France) in 1997, ELLE (Australia), Image (UK), Madame Figaro, Numero France, Vogue (France), and Vogue (US) in 1999. In 1999, Kass modeled for top designers such as Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Prada, Versace, Fendi, Chanel, Chloe, Valentino, Louis Vuitton, and Givenchy. In addition, Kass has posed in numerous advertisements for Calvin Klein, Chanel, Donna Karan, Givenchy, Fendi, Michael Kors, Versace, and also for General Motors. She is also recognized for her appearances in a The Gap denim advertising campaign. Kass was a spokesperson for Sephora, one of the world's leading cosmetics retailers, and the Christian Dior perfume, J'adore. Kass was awarded by Vogue as "Model of the Year" at the 2000 VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards.
As of 2006, she has appeared in campaigns for Dsquared, Pedro del Hierro, Michael Kors and Chloe with Malgosia Bela. In 2007, Kass has got ten campaigns only for the spring/summer collection, including Versace, Michael Kors, Pucci, Jones New York, Salvatore Ferragamo, Gap, Peek & Cloppenburg, Bedat & Co, Time and Et Vous?. She has now signed to be Max Factor newest spokesperson.
Campaigns:
American Legend, Bedat & Co., Byblos, Calvin Klein, Chanel, Chanel Le Sac, Chloe, Christian Dior, Christian Dior 'J'Adore' fragrance, Daniel Swarovski, Donna Karan, DSquared2, Et Vous, Fendi, General Motors, Givenchy, Guy Laroche, ICB, J.Mendel / Legend, Krizia, Les Copains, Liz Claiborne, Mango, MaxMara, Max Factor, Michael Kors, MOGA, Narciso Rodriquez, Nine West, Pedro del Hierro, Peek & Cloppenburg, Plein Sud, Ralph Lauren, Revlon, Salvatore Ferragamo, Sephora.com, Sun G', Target, Tommy Hilfiger, Valentino Couture, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent
Covers:
Vogue (UK, US, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Japan, Australia, Portugal, Russia), Elle (Australia), Harper's Bazaar, L'Officiel, Madame Figaro, Numero, Image, Max Mara, GQ, Telva, Frank, Vanity Fair
Shows:
Alberta Ferretti, Alessandro Dell 'Acqua, Alexander McQueen, Ann Demeulemeester, Anna Sui, Anne Klein, Antonio Berardi, Antonio Pernas, Badley Mishcka, Balenciaga, Balmain, Bottega Veneta, Byblos, Cacharel, Calvin Klein, Carolina Herrera, Celine, Cerruti, Chanel, Chloe, Christian Dior, Christian Lacroix, Comme des Garcons, Costume National, DKNY, Dolce & Gabbana, Donna Karan, Douglas Hannant, Dsquared2, Elie Saab, Emanuel Ungaro, Emilio Pucci, Ermanno Scervino, Etro, Exte, Fendi, Gianfranco Ferre, Gianni Versace, Giles, Giles Deacon, Givenchy, Gucci, Haider Ackermann, Helmut Lang, Hussein Chalayan, Imitation of Christ, Isabel Marant, Jean Paul Gaultier, Jil Sander, John Bartlett, John Galliano, Karl Lagerfeld, Katayone Adeli, Kenzo, Lagerfeld Gallery, Lanvin, Lawrence Steele, Loewe, Louis Vuitton, Luella, Luella Bartley, Marc Jacobs, Marni, Martine Sitbon, Matthew Williamson, Max Mara, Michael Kors, Miu Miu, Moschino, Narciso Rodriguez, Olivier Theyskens, Oscar de la Renta, Pamela Denis, Phi, Pierre Balmain, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Richard Edwards, Rick Owens, Roberto Cavalli, Rochas, Roland Mouret, Salvatore Ferragamo, Sonia Rykiel, Sophia Kokosalaki, Sportmax, Stella McCartney, Stephen Burrows, Sweetface, Thimister, Tommy Hilfiger, Trussardi, Valentino, Versace, Versus, Victor Alfaro, Viktor & Rolf, Yohji Yamamoto, Yves Saimt Laurent Rive Gauche, Zac Posen
Bio:
Kass grew up in the Estonian city of Paide. At the age of fourteen, she was 'discovered' in a Tallinn supermarket by an Italian modeling scout. Kass had wanted to compete for the Miss Estonia title, but an offer to fly to Milan, Italy, to start a modeling career seemed like a more glamorous and lucrative option.
Kass officially moved to Paris at the age of 18. Soon after, she received exposure on the cover of magazines worldwide, such as Vogue (France) in 1997, ELLE (Australia), Image (UK), Madame Figaro, Numero France, Vogue (France), and Vogue (US) in 1999. In 1999, Kass modeled for top designers such as Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Donna Karan, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, Prada, Versace, Fendi, Chanel, Chloe, Valentino, Louis Vuitton, and Givenchy. In addition, Kass has posed in numerous advertisements for Calvin Klein, Chanel, Donna Karan, Givenchy, Fendi, Michael Kors, Versace, and also for General Motors. She is also recognized for her appearances in a The Gap denim advertising campaign. Kass was a spokesperson for Sephora, one of the world's leading cosmetics retailers, and the Christian Dior perfume, J'adore. Kass was awarded by Vogue as "Model of the Year" at the 2000 VH1/Vogue Fashion Awards.
As of 2006, she has appeared in campaigns for Dsquared, Pedro del Hierro, Michael Kors and Chloe with Malgosia Bela. In 2007, Kass has got ten campaigns only for the spring/summer collection, including Versace, Michael Kors, Pucci, Jones New York, Salvatore Ferragamo, Gap, Peek & Cloppenburg, Bedat & Co, Time and Et Vous?. She has now signed to be Max Factor newest spokesperson.
Campaigns:
American Legend, Bedat & Co., Byblos, Calvin Klein, Chanel, Chanel Le Sac, Chloe, Christian Dior, Christian Dior 'J'Adore' fragrance, Daniel Swarovski, Donna Karan, DSquared2, Et Vous, Fendi, General Motors, Givenchy, Guy Laroche, ICB, J.Mendel / Legend, Krizia, Les Copains, Liz Claiborne, Mango, MaxMara, Max Factor, Michael Kors, MOGA, Narciso Rodriquez, Nine West, Pedro del Hierro, Peek & Cloppenburg, Plein Sud, Ralph Lauren, Revlon, Salvatore Ferragamo, Sephora.com, Sun G', Target, Tommy Hilfiger, Valentino Couture, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent
Covers:
Vogue (UK, US, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Japan, Australia, Portugal, Russia), Elle (Australia), Harper's Bazaar, L'Officiel, Madame Figaro, Numero, Image, Max Mara, GQ, Telva, Frank, Vanity Fair
Shows:
Alberta Ferretti, Alessandro Dell 'Acqua, Alexander McQueen, Ann Demeulemeester, Anna Sui, Anne Klein, Antonio Berardi, Antonio Pernas, Badley Mishcka, Balenciaga, Balmain, Bottega Veneta, Byblos, Cacharel, Calvin Klein, Carolina Herrera, Celine, Cerruti, Chanel, Chloe, Christian Dior, Christian Lacroix, Comme des Garcons, Costume National, DKNY, Dolce & Gabbana, Donna Karan, Douglas Hannant, Dsquared2, Elie Saab, Emanuel Ungaro, Emilio Pucci, Ermanno Scervino, Etro, Exte, Fendi, Gianfranco Ferre, Gianni Versace, Giles, Giles Deacon, Givenchy, Gucci, Haider Ackermann, Helmut Lang, Hussein Chalayan, Imitation of Christ, Isabel Marant, Jean Paul Gaultier, Jil Sander, John Bartlett, John Galliano, Karl Lagerfeld, Katayone Adeli, Kenzo, Lagerfeld Gallery, Lanvin, Lawrence Steele, Loewe, Louis Vuitton, Luella, Luella Bartley, Marc Jacobs, Marni, Martine Sitbon, Matthew Williamson, Max Mara, Michael Kors, Miu Miu, Moschino, Narciso Rodriguez, Olivier Theyskens, Oscar de la Renta, Pamela Denis, Phi, Pierre Balmain, Prada, Ralph Lauren, Richard Edwards, Rick Owens, Roberto Cavalli, Rochas, Roland Mouret, Salvatore Ferragamo, Sonia Rykiel, Sophia Kokosalaki, Sportmax, Stella McCartney, Stephen Burrows, Sweetface, Thimister, Tommy Hilfiger, Trussardi, Valentino, Versace, Versus, Victor Alfaro, Viktor & Rolf, Yohji Yamamoto, Yves Saimt Laurent Rive Gauche, Zac Posen
A Rough Guide of (My) Life
There's a lot you don't know about me, and that's probably a good thing. I probably go "TMI" all over this blog and in person about pretty much every little detail about my life. And you know why I do that? (hint: it rhymes with "talcohol") Reading this blog might give you a better picture of who I am, but who are the people that shape my life? I call them my drinking buddies, friends, and in my fictional movie script, the mothers of my children. So today here at the blog, I'm going to tell you about some of fellow boozer cruisers, along with some drunken stories. Dolan's 6 Best Drinking Buddies. They aren't really in order, except for the last two.
6. Kase & Shah
Known Since: I believe I've known the Indian for two years and the Jewish kid for about five or six.
First Drank With: Both of them together, probably at my beer pong tournament last summer.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I don't know what it is, but there's something about these two that continually makes me laugh. Maybe it's that I know Sagar's going to puke every time I drink with him, or Kase is just so fun to rip on. But my favorite drinking memory with these two was last night, down in Champaign, IL, out at a bar where my friend works. There's this gay guy that works there that is in *love* with my friend. But everyone was just sitting at the table, talking, and Sagar just throws up randomly all over the floor. The gay man comes over and clean up Sagar's vomit while asking him "Do you guys want any shots?" I've never met someone who has thrown up in a bar and not been kicked out...until this.
5. The Dad
Known Since: Um...forever?
First Drank With: Father's Day Gold Tournament, 2005
Favorite Drinking Memory: My Dad drinks quite a bit, but doesn't usually get too drunk. Or he hides it well. Either way, on my 21st birthday, I had a party in my backyard and was insanely out of control, even for me. I guess you really can't call it a memory but I was told that I kept screaming "Come on Dad, DRINK LIKE A MAN!" This story makes me laugh, since my Dad always says stupid crap like that when I'm hungover. It's one of my favorite memories that I really don't remember at all.
4. Paul Russo
Known Since: Grade school
First Drank With: This is easy to remember, since it was the first time I was ever drunk. Senior of high school, sometime in the fall I think, at his house off of my least favorite beer ever, Icehouse.
Favorite Drinking Memory: When Russo gets drunk, he can get more belligerent than anyone I now. But my favorite drinking memory with this guy was my freshman year of college when we were moving in to our dorm room. We were there a day or two earlier than everyone else, so there wasn't much to do. We chilled in the dorm room and drank a bottle of rum I stole from my Dad (sorry Larry), then walked around campus, which for me was the first time. It just felt like a stepping stone. It doesn't seem like a great "drinking" story, but it's the one I most remember with this kid.
3. Kevin Dolan
Known Since: As long as I can remember
First Drank With: I'm not sure, but I think it was just after he broke up with his first Girlfriend.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I put my brother on this list for one reason: he's pretty much me but better looking and a little more outgoing. OK, that's two reasons. My favorite memory of drinking with him was a year or two ago when me and the previously mentioned Kase were doing a power hour. Kevin tries to keep up. With WHISKEY. I'm sure you can guess where this story is going. Kevin threw up, about 20 minutes in. Kase only got ten minutes further before he threw up, because he's a pussy. I'm almost positive Kevin kept drinking after. It's always funny when you aren't the one throwing up. And this was just a very misguided idea that, if followed through with, would almost certainly have resulted in sudden death.
2. Courtney & Anessa
Known SInce: August 2004, or as I like to call it "The Beginning of My Self-Destruction"
First Drank With: Not coincidentally, it was probably the same week that I met them.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I really love these two and there's no way I could divide them up. Besides my mom, these are two of my most favoritest girls on the planet. There has been tons of fun, mistakes, and all-around debauchery. And much of that is owed to alcohol. One thing I hate is that I very rarely throw up from drinking, no matter the quantity. I have a very strong stomach. But my favorite memory drinking with these two was one Sunday night this past year I made a pop-in to their apartment. It was no surprise that the drinking immediately ensued. We then decided it would be a good idea to go "out" to the bar. We ended up being like three of five people at the bar. It may not have been a wild night but it led to the great quote "God may rest on Sundays, but the Dukum and us don't!" (Dukum = bar) Every time I look at my keys, I am reminded of this night because of the bottle opener I got that night. So fun! I miss these two more than anyone.
1. "Tim"
Known Since: I believe it was December 2003 at our mutual place of employment, The Moorings.
First Drank With: When my mom went to Europe in the summer of 2004, I threw a kegger or two and am pretty sure it was the first time Tim ever got drunk.
Favorite Drinking Memory: Tim and I have a very strange friendship that is based off of the attraction to the same girl. It might be my favorite memory per se, but New Years Eve 2007, I had a party at my Dad's house. Me and Tim decided to split a bottle of whiskey and made it the mission of the night to try and finish it before midnight. The following took place:
-Tim spilling my last Guinness but punching it out of my hand
-Finishing the bottle of whiskey
-Me dislocating my knee while dancing, which I've done on New Years Eve two years in a row now
-Me walking on my knee anyway the rest of the night
-Tim throwing up for a few hours
-Tim telling my brother Bobby, who was watching him throw up as we were making fun of him "Fuck you Bobby, Fuck you and your purple Coke" as he was holding a grape pop.
What I remember most about the night, besides the aforementioned quote, is the way my Dad said "Who is this kid?" It was one of the funniest night of my life and I'll definitely remember it for-ev-er.
Yeah buddies and lovies, I hope you enjoyed the anecdotes of my fellow imbibers. I have to get going quickly, so I'll keep this short, but until next time, drink and be merry.
6. Kase & Shah
Known Since: I believe I've known the Indian for two years and the Jewish kid for about five or six.
First Drank With: Both of them together, probably at my beer pong tournament last summer.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I don't know what it is, but there's something about these two that continually makes me laugh. Maybe it's that I know Sagar's going to puke every time I drink with him, or Kase is just so fun to rip on. But my favorite drinking memory with these two was last night, down in Champaign, IL, out at a bar where my friend works. There's this gay guy that works there that is in *love* with my friend. But everyone was just sitting at the table, talking, and Sagar just throws up randomly all over the floor. The gay man comes over and clean up Sagar's vomit while asking him "Do you guys want any shots?" I've never met someone who has thrown up in a bar and not been kicked out...until this.
5. The Dad
Known Since: Um...forever?
First Drank With: Father's Day Gold Tournament, 2005
Favorite Drinking Memory: My Dad drinks quite a bit, but doesn't usually get too drunk. Or he hides it well. Either way, on my 21st birthday, I had a party in my backyard and was insanely out of control, even for me. I guess you really can't call it a memory but I was told that I kept screaming "Come on Dad, DRINK LIKE A MAN!" This story makes me laugh, since my Dad always says stupid crap like that when I'm hungover. It's one of my favorite memories that I really don't remember at all.
4. Paul Russo
Known Since: Grade school
First Drank With: This is easy to remember, since it was the first time I was ever drunk. Senior of high school, sometime in the fall I think, at his house off of my least favorite beer ever, Icehouse.
Favorite Drinking Memory: When Russo gets drunk, he can get more belligerent than anyone I now. But my favorite drinking memory with this guy was my freshman year of college when we were moving in to our dorm room. We were there a day or two earlier than everyone else, so there wasn't much to do. We chilled in the dorm room and drank a bottle of rum I stole from my Dad (sorry Larry), then walked around campus, which for me was the first time. It just felt like a stepping stone. It doesn't seem like a great "drinking" story, but it's the one I most remember with this kid.
3. Kevin Dolan
Known Since: As long as I can remember
First Drank With: I'm not sure, but I think it was just after he broke up with his first Girlfriend.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I put my brother on this list for one reason: he's pretty much me but better looking and a little more outgoing. OK, that's two reasons. My favorite memory of drinking with him was a year or two ago when me and the previously mentioned Kase were doing a power hour. Kevin tries to keep up. With WHISKEY. I'm sure you can guess where this story is going. Kevin threw up, about 20 minutes in. Kase only got ten minutes further before he threw up, because he's a pussy. I'm almost positive Kevin kept drinking after. It's always funny when you aren't the one throwing up. And this was just a very misguided idea that, if followed through with, would almost certainly have resulted in sudden death.
2. Courtney & Anessa
Known SInce: August 2004, or as I like to call it "The Beginning of My Self-Destruction"
First Drank With: Not coincidentally, it was probably the same week that I met them.
Favorite Drinking Memory: I really love these two and there's no way I could divide them up. Besides my mom, these are two of my most favoritest girls on the planet. There has been tons of fun, mistakes, and all-around debauchery. And much of that is owed to alcohol. One thing I hate is that I very rarely throw up from drinking, no matter the quantity. I have a very strong stomach. But my favorite memory drinking with these two was one Sunday night this past year I made a pop-in to their apartment. It was no surprise that the drinking immediately ensued. We then decided it would be a good idea to go "out" to the bar. We ended up being like three of five people at the bar. It may not have been a wild night but it led to the great quote "God may rest on Sundays, but the Dukum and us don't!" (Dukum = bar) Every time I look at my keys, I am reminded of this night because of the bottle opener I got that night. So fun! I miss these two more than anyone.
1. "Tim"
Known Since: I believe it was December 2003 at our mutual place of employment, The Moorings.
First Drank With: When my mom went to Europe in the summer of 2004, I threw a kegger or two and am pretty sure it was the first time Tim ever got drunk.
Favorite Drinking Memory: Tim and I have a very strange friendship that is based off of the attraction to the same girl. It might be my favorite memory per se, but New Years Eve 2007, I had a party at my Dad's house. Me and Tim decided to split a bottle of whiskey and made it the mission of the night to try and finish it before midnight. The following took place:
-Tim spilling my last Guinness but punching it out of my hand
-Finishing the bottle of whiskey
-Me dislocating my knee while dancing, which I've done on New Years Eve two years in a row now
-Me walking on my knee anyway the rest of the night
-Tim throwing up for a few hours
-Tim telling my brother Bobby, who was watching him throw up as we were making fun of him "Fuck you Bobby, Fuck you and your purple Coke" as he was holding a grape pop.
What I remember most about the night, besides the aforementioned quote, is the way my Dad said "Who is this kid?" It was one of the funniest night of my life and I'll definitely remember it for-ev-er.
Yeah buddies and lovies, I hope you enjoyed the anecdotes of my fellow imbibers. I have to get going quickly, so I'll keep this short, but until next time, drink and be merry.
Top Model Denise Milani
Denise Milani was born in Europe. Now she live in Southern California and Denise Milani enjoying every moment of it.
Jack and Jim Filled to the Brim
I'm giddy. Who's got two thumbs and wants to blog? THIS GUY. Anyways, I know I haven't had a real list-post up in a while. Let's change that, shall we? I don't know about you but I love a good whiskey. It's too delicious to even describe. In the intersection of whiskey goodness, there presents itself a road block to the average drinker: which type of whiskey is right for me? Well, me being the expert of inebriation, I will gladly answer this question for you all. In my first edition, here it is: Battle of the Booze: Whiskey.
The Battle will be held between the Top 4 types of Whiskey: Irish Whiskey, Scotch Whiskey, Canadian Whiskey, and American Whiskey. Since all other whiskey's are shit, they are all automatically disqualified. Moving on. (Shut up, Japanese. Your whiskey isn't as good as you think it is.)
Contestant #1: Irish Whiskey
Popular Brands: Jameson, Bushmill, Tullamore Dew, Michael Collins
Pro's: Irish Whiskey is the whiskey of the Irish, which obviously gives it extra points here on the pro-Irish blog. It's only produced in Ireland and aged for a minimum of 3 years. Otherwise, it's not Irish whiskey. Plus, you can use it in Irish Car Bombs and you can still get a little taste of it when it's mixed. The Irish whiskey has a distinct taste, not unlike sex but more like stale ice cream. Which is as good as an booze is gonna taste, to be quite honest.
Cons: Irish whiskey is, understandably, a little more expensive over here in the States. The brand names are limited, like my sex life, and Jameson's is really the only one people drink over here. Not that there's anything remotely wrong with that.
Final Tally: Taste: 9/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 9/10. Final: 25/30.
Contestant #2: Scotch Whiskey
Popular Brands: Johnnie Walker, Dewars, J&B, Chivas.
Pro's: Personally, I hate scotch. (read: no chance to win here) But, to be fair, I'm trying to pretend for the sake of the blog. It must be produced in Scotland, must be over 45% ABV, and it must be aged at least 3 years and a day because that's how the Scottish roll. (unlike some Scottish, who roll down hills in kilts. *shudders*). It has a very unique taste, unlike any other whiskey. It's process is also much more elaborate and much more complex than the others, exactly like the Scottish people.
Con's: It tastes like alcoholic monkey piss. Plus, it's from Scotland and is generally considered to be a highly respected and distinguishable liquor. The problem with scotch is that you either hate it or love it (think anal sex). That's just too risky for any booze.
Final Tally: Taste: 5/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 5/10. Final: 17/30.
Contestant #3: Canadian Whiskey
Popular Brands: Canadian Club, Crown Royal, Seagrams, Wiser's.
Pro's: Canadian whiskey costs nothing and tastes great while mixing. There's tons of variety, unlike the Canadian people. It tastes a little more sweet and sugary than most other whiskeys, making it much easier to take down than, say, Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker. Like I said, it's much lighter than other whiskeys, probably because Canada can't hold their booze. (A collective "EHHHHHHHH?" just came from up north)
Con's: It's made in Canada. It's kind of like a girls whiskey. And, regardless of it's mixability, it's pretty cheap stuff. It's got flavor, but probably too much sweetness for a whiskey. It almost taste like syrup. Which is fitting, but most people don't like drinking alcoholic syrup unless their alcoholics or Canadians. It doesn't cost much for a reason, it's just kind of there. Exactly like Canada.
Final Tally: Taste: 6/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 10/10. Final: 23/30.
Contestant #4: American Whiskey
Popular Brands: Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Wild Turkey, Evan Williams, Maker's Mark.
Pro's: American whiskeys are quite the treat for the pallate. Perhaps a little rougher than it's previous counterparts, it packs a punch like nobody else on this list. Although that's not always a good thing, that roughness your tasting is corn and rye, both healthy ingredients in an extremely unhealthy drink (think: mix everclear with light cranberry juice). American whiskeys are the way to go if you want to really taste the whiskey. Where most other spirits lack (including all the ghosts from "A Christmas Carol"), American whiskey trumps the competition in terms of "helping you get really fucked up, really fast." Whoever doesn't like that motto, well, they haven't lived.
Con's: The pro's are also it's con's. It's not always a good thing to get punched in the mouth by a drink. Or a person for that matter. This type of homegrown goodness often leads to violent outbursts and extreme regurgitation. Or, in layman's terms, fighting and puking. American whiskey is also surprisingly expensive. Surprising in the sense that, usually domestic products are cheaper. Like Corona's cheap in Mexico, yet expensive here. Tone it down Jack, Jim, and Mark. We need cheap booze, especially in this recession.
Final Tally: Taste: 10/10, Value: 6/10, Mixability: 8/10. Final: 24/30.
Final Totals:
WINNER: Irish Whiskey, 25/30
RUNNER-UP: American Whiskey, 24/30
BRONZE: Canadian Whiskey, 23/30
LAST: Scotch Whiskey, 17/30
(I'm pretty sure you saw that coming)
Congrats to Irish Whiskey, the winner of the Battle of the Booze, Whiskey Edition!
Well, I sure hoped you enjoyed my expose on whiskey and all it's trait. Congratulations to the winner, even though your prize is to be processed by my liver, which isn't much of a prize at all, actually. To be fair, you had it coming. You know, with all those dirty looks from across the bar? You were just asking to destroy a part of my liver. Well, enough of the dirty talk. I know you have better things to do than listen to me flirt with whiskey. So I'll leave you to it. Have a wonderful week and enjoy some of our winner's glory. You (and he) deserve it! In honor of the Irish, here's the most common Irish drinking toast: Slainte!
The Battle will be held between the Top 4 types of Whiskey: Irish Whiskey, Scotch Whiskey, Canadian Whiskey, and American Whiskey. Since all other whiskey's are shit, they are all automatically disqualified. Moving on. (Shut up, Japanese. Your whiskey isn't as good as you think it is.)
Contestant #1: Irish Whiskey
Popular Brands: Jameson, Bushmill, Tullamore Dew, Michael Collins
Pro's: Irish Whiskey is the whiskey of the Irish, which obviously gives it extra points here on the pro-Irish blog. It's only produced in Ireland and aged for a minimum of 3 years. Otherwise, it's not Irish whiskey. Plus, you can use it in Irish Car Bombs and you can still get a little taste of it when it's mixed. The Irish whiskey has a distinct taste, not unlike sex but more like stale ice cream. Which is as good as an booze is gonna taste, to be quite honest.
Cons: Irish whiskey is, understandably, a little more expensive over here in the States. The brand names are limited, like my sex life, and Jameson's is really the only one people drink over here. Not that there's anything remotely wrong with that.
Final Tally: Taste: 9/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 9/10. Final: 25/30.
Contestant #2: Scotch Whiskey
Popular Brands: Johnnie Walker, Dewars, J&B, Chivas.
Pro's: Personally, I hate scotch. (read: no chance to win here) But, to be fair, I'm trying to pretend for the sake of the blog. It must be produced in Scotland, must be over 45% ABV, and it must be aged at least 3 years and a day because that's how the Scottish roll. (unlike some Scottish, who roll down hills in kilts. *shudders*). It has a very unique taste, unlike any other whiskey. It's process is also much more elaborate and much more complex than the others, exactly like the Scottish people.
Con's: It tastes like alcoholic monkey piss. Plus, it's from Scotland and is generally considered to be a highly respected and distinguishable liquor. The problem with scotch is that you either hate it or love it (think anal sex). That's just too risky for any booze.
Final Tally: Taste: 5/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 5/10. Final: 17/30.
Contestant #3: Canadian Whiskey
Popular Brands: Canadian Club, Crown Royal, Seagrams, Wiser's.
Pro's: Canadian whiskey costs nothing and tastes great while mixing. There's tons of variety, unlike the Canadian people. It tastes a little more sweet and sugary than most other whiskeys, making it much easier to take down than, say, Jack Daniels or Johnnie Walker. Like I said, it's much lighter than other whiskeys, probably because Canada can't hold their booze. (A collective "EHHHHHHHH?" just came from up north)
Con's: It's made in Canada. It's kind of like a girls whiskey. And, regardless of it's mixability, it's pretty cheap stuff. It's got flavor, but probably too much sweetness for a whiskey. It almost taste like syrup. Which is fitting, but most people don't like drinking alcoholic syrup unless their alcoholics or Canadians. It doesn't cost much for a reason, it's just kind of there. Exactly like Canada.
Final Tally: Taste: 6/10, Value: 7/10, Mixability: 10/10. Final: 23/30.
Contestant #4: American Whiskey
Popular Brands: Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Wild Turkey, Evan Williams, Maker's Mark.
Pro's: American whiskeys are quite the treat for the pallate. Perhaps a little rougher than it's previous counterparts, it packs a punch like nobody else on this list. Although that's not always a good thing, that roughness your tasting is corn and rye, both healthy ingredients in an extremely unhealthy drink (think: mix everclear with light cranberry juice). American whiskeys are the way to go if you want to really taste the whiskey. Where most other spirits lack (including all the ghosts from "A Christmas Carol"), American whiskey trumps the competition in terms of "helping you get really fucked up, really fast." Whoever doesn't like that motto, well, they haven't lived.
Con's: The pro's are also it's con's. It's not always a good thing to get punched in the mouth by a drink. Or a person for that matter. This type of homegrown goodness often leads to violent outbursts and extreme regurgitation. Or, in layman's terms, fighting and puking. American whiskey is also surprisingly expensive. Surprising in the sense that, usually domestic products are cheaper. Like Corona's cheap in Mexico, yet expensive here. Tone it down Jack, Jim, and Mark. We need cheap booze, especially in this recession.
Final Tally: Taste: 10/10, Value: 6/10, Mixability: 8/10. Final: 24/30.
Final Totals:
WINNER: Irish Whiskey, 25/30
RUNNER-UP: American Whiskey, 24/30
BRONZE: Canadian Whiskey, 23/30
LAST: Scotch Whiskey, 17/30
(I'm pretty sure you saw that coming)
Congrats to Irish Whiskey, the winner of the Battle of the Booze, Whiskey Edition!
Well, I sure hoped you enjoyed my expose on whiskey and all it's trait. Congratulations to the winner, even though your prize is to be processed by my liver, which isn't much of a prize at all, actually. To be fair, you had it coming. You know, with all those dirty looks from across the bar? You were just asking to destroy a part of my liver. Well, enough of the dirty talk. I know you have better things to do than listen to me flirt with whiskey. So I'll leave you to it. Have a wonderful week and enjoy some of our winner's glory. You (and he) deserve it! In honor of the Irish, here's the most common Irish drinking toast: Slainte!
The Links: Very Cool Edition
Here are some more cool links because I've been busy and can't think of a worthy topic to blog about.
Here's my ukulele girl Julia Nunes singing a great song by Say Anything, playing multiple instruments and just being ultra cool as usual. And kind of weird. But a little weird is always good.
If you haven't seen "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" go to hulu and check it out. Here's my favorite song from the musical comedy starring Neil Patrick Harris, and a few Joss Whedon regulars. Funny stuff people. Please believe me. C'mon, you'll love it. Do it........CLICK!
Like the TV show "Weeds"? Well, another new season premieres tonight so here's a funny clip of the lovable stoner Andy teaching his young nephew Shane what to...um...finish into so the family stops losing so many socks. It's full of euphamisms, analogies, and preposterous, yet true, ways and suggestions. Enjoy.
I personally like old pop music and Petula Clark's "Downtown" is no exception. Here's a funny rendition of the popular song, with just a little remix. Laugh.
I love The Wire and recommend it to the highest degree to anyone who hasn't seen it. Here's a website that's compiled the 10 Wildest scenes from the show. Watch at your leisure.
10 Wildest Wire Scenes.
Who says Americans are the only drunk idiots that run onto the various sporting venues field of play? Here's a French guy annoying Roger Federer in the Finals of one of Tennis' Majors.
I haven't seen "The Hangover" yet but it looks humorous. Here's a guy singing about his pretty bad hangover. Very funny stuff.
Alright that's all for now. I'll try and get a real life blog up sometime this week. Until then, enjoy yourselves. It's beautiful outside. What are you doing reading this? Get your ass out there!
Here's my ukulele girl Julia Nunes singing a great song by Say Anything, playing multiple instruments and just being ultra cool as usual. And kind of weird. But a little weird is always good.
If you haven't seen "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" go to hulu and check it out. Here's my favorite song from the musical comedy starring Neil Patrick Harris, and a few Joss Whedon regulars. Funny stuff people. Please believe me. C'mon, you'll love it. Do it........CLICK!
Like the TV show "Weeds"? Well, another new season premieres tonight so here's a funny clip of the lovable stoner Andy teaching his young nephew Shane what to...um...finish into so the family stops losing so many socks. It's full of euphamisms, analogies, and preposterous, yet true, ways and suggestions. Enjoy.
I personally like old pop music and Petula Clark's "Downtown" is no exception. Here's a funny rendition of the popular song, with just a little remix. Laugh.
Downtown (Eastside Remix) - watch more funny videos
I love The Wire and recommend it to the highest degree to anyone who hasn't seen it. Here's a website that's compiled the 10 Wildest scenes from the show. Watch at your leisure.
10 Wildest Wire Scenes.
Who says Americans are the only drunk idiots that run onto the various sporting venues field of play? Here's a French guy annoying Roger Federer in the Finals of one of Tennis' Majors.
I haven't seen "The Hangover" yet but it looks humorous. Here's a guy singing about his pretty bad hangover. Very funny stuff.
Alright that's all for now. I'll try and get a real life blog up sometime this week. Until then, enjoy yourselves. It's beautiful outside. What are you doing reading this? Get your ass out there!
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